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Sunday, January 9, 2011

My Not-So-Friendly Friend

I have a friend.

Well, he says he's my friend. He told me he has my best interest in mind. He'll help me stay in control and keep me from getting too vulnerable with anyone. His shell is my safety. 

And, he keeps me feeling good about myself. He keeps me puffed up and just slightly above the rest. With him, I feel less inferior.

He's been around for so long, he feels part of who I am now. So, I must defend him. Stick up for him when he's being scrutinized. Be his advocate and reject any thought of removing him from my life!

But, today I found out that he's been lying to me. 

He's not helping me. In fact, he's the one that gets in my way when I am desperately seeking a place to rest my head and lay my burden down. 
He's not offering me anything good at all when I need to express myself to someone and open up.  Ointment can't enter unless the wound is exposed. Hands can't receive when their clenched closed.

He's no help when I screw up. He keeps me from humbling myself and finding forgiveness and release.

He's no friend. He's an enemy.

His name?


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