So, here's a question that I just can't get my head around...
"How does one exactly forgive oneself?"
It's easier for me to understand forgiving others because it's someone else that you are releasing, pardoning, finding peace with. I can maybe go to them. Talk to them. Write to them. It's tangible. But, it's not like I can step outside myself and say, "Hey, I forgive you. Don't worry about it anymore."
I decided to ask around. The dog had little to say for himself. The kids were sleeping. So, that narrowed my search and I quizzed my husband.
"Well, what I need to do is pour myself out to God about it and be honest with my struggle of why I just can't let myself off the hook.... and it's never a one time thing. There are things I've had to forgive myself multiple times for because if I start thinking about it, I can tend to start beating myself up over it all over again."
It made me think.
HE forgives me. He holds Freedom, not grudges. And, He sure has a much better perspective on the whole thing than I do. And, if He says I'm forgiven, than who am I to say I'm not and continue to live in guilt, condemnation and self-punishment?
I may just test my husband's answer and find out for myself.