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Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Cyst

Several years ago, I had a cyst.  It was deep inside my lower back.  It was a painfully intense experience for me when it surfaced.  I couldn't walk.  I couldn't sit.  I couldn't do anything.  And, though, I tried to avoid it, it got to a point where I knew I needed to get help.  Problem was, it was in such an embarrassing place on my body, it seemed better to live with the pain than to allow myself to be vulnerable and be examined -- receiving the aid I so desperately needed.

It took pure desperation and running out of all options to get myself to a specialist.  Apparently, I was not the only one that procrastinated in receiving help.  When he took a look at me, the first words out of his mouth were, "Why do people take so long to take care of this?" 

Little did I know that this kind of cyst could only truly be taken care of through out-patient surgery.  He had to go deep, deep inside to get to the root of the cyst and make sure all the junk got pulled out.

Though, I hated having that experience, it has become a picture to me of what's going on inside my heart.  My Doctor needs to go deep, deep inside to the origin of some issues in my life.  But, it's requiring my willingness to be vulnerable and to open up to let Him in.  I am thankful, though, that He is not here to push Himself on me.  He is patient with me.  He knows that the process of opening up can be difficult.  And, though He has the ability to help me, He waits for my nod before He touches me.

1 comment:

John Griggs said...

Great analogy, Val. I still have a few cysts here and there He's waiting for me to come into His office for, lol.