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Sunday, September 25, 2016

Space To Talk

I love to talk. It actually helps me think. My husband knows this fact all too well. I would say probably three quarters of the time that I spend in conversation with him is mean jabbering and him listening. Thankfully, it has worked out pretty well because he enjoys listening and he's really good at it. The problem with it though is he probably knows much more about me after 15 years of marriage than I do about him.

And, don't get me wrong. I totally care about what he thinks. I'm just usually quicker to start a conversation, so I get first dibs on the subject. But I must confess, too, that I'm also not quick to start a conversation with the sentence "So, what's on your mind?"

Looking to hear my husband's heart actually takes discipline for me. I have to force myself to set aside my thoughts for a moment and give him a chance to speak. Funny enough, when I do give him a chance, I find out that he has plenty to say and plenty on his mind. How often I must miss the things he'd share with me if I would just give him the space to do so.

If this is my tendency with my husband, I'm imagining that it's probably not much different between God and I. I love to pray. I do. I love to talk to Him and process things with Him. He's a great listener!  But oh the things I must miss because I simply do not give Him the space to share His heart. I'm often too busy telling Him all the things that I'm thinking that I don't often consider that He might have a few things on His mind, too. 

What's probably more the case though is that I don't consider the fact that He actually wants to share His heart with me. I often live with the mentality of 'who am I that He would want to share personal things about Himself and even His secrets?' But I underestimate how much He loves me and how much He desires relationship with me -- not just a one way relationship of me talking to Him, but a two way conversation where He has the space to share and unveil the mysteries of His heart.

But it takes discipline. Just as I have to purposely tune in to my husband and listen for his thoughts, I have to set aside time and give God my ear and attention. And when I do, I'm always so tickled that He would consider me a friend and tell me the things that are on His heart and mind. 

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