Talking

It's interesting how all of us respond differently in given situations. For some, when something big, dramatic and painful happens to them, they respond quite verbally. They have to get it off their chest immediately. It's part of how they process things. 

But, for others, their first reaction is to pull the 'emergency shut down handle'. Their defenses go up. Their hearts go into lock-down mode and they say nothing. 

I'd have to say I'm more the second type. In some ways, reacting like this is good because I stop myself from saying things I might regret later. Problem is, I may never say anything at all - then or later. And, it's not because there's nothing to say. It's because I'm afraid to open up and begin processing it. It gets so internalized that it starts to fester like a cyst inside of me. Over time, my heart becomes miserable.

Talking is healthy. It helps get things out on the table to see it clearly. Sometimes, I don't even know how I'm feeling until I start talking about it. But, as I talk, I can hear myself. I can hear my heart and what's really happening inside of me. And, it's then that the process of healing begins. 

Do I feel the need to broadcast it to everyone? No. I find a friend – especially a friend that knows my other Friend. And, I open my mouth...and begin, knowing that there is no right or wrong thing to say. I just start talking.