I Couldn't Care Less

There was a boy who loved baseball.

He ate, drank and breathed baseball.  He invested much into the game and in turn the game gave back so much in joy and pleasure.  There was nowhere else he'd rather be than on that field doing what he loved.

But, he got hurt.

It was the bottom of the second inning and while at bat, the pitcher threw the ball right at his knee.  He was injured so badly that he was told he could never play again.

The boy was devastated.  All that he loved was taken from him in an instant.  He was so sad that, though his parents offered to still take him to the games and watch from the stands, he resisted and stayed in his room much of the day.  

His heart grew numb.  In an effort to dull the pain, he began to act like he didn't care about baseball at all.  It was the only way he could cope... hardening his heart and refusing to feel anymore.

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It's easy to want to shut off -- to pull the 'emotions switch' and become numb and hardened about something you actually still care very deeply about.  A failing marriage.  A career crisis.  A relationship with a friend, daughter/son, or parent.  Your place in society or social group.  The giving up of something you love.  It's easier to not care -- than to face the pain.

I think what's important to remember when being in 'shut off' mode' is that you are aware that you're in 'shut off mode'.  Be at least honest with yourself that you aren't allowing yourself to be honest about how you feel.  Coping is one thing, but don't fool yourself into thinking that this is how you really feel.  If that happens, you might never reach out and find healing, health and restoration.